I just want to write this before I forget

I usually become a little dramatic and a little distraught when I’m hurt. When my knee hurts, I decide I want to take up running. When my neck is stiff, all I can think about is how I don’t feel normal and how I may never be able to do a headstand. Basically when anything hurts, I’m convinced that the quality of my life will suffer as a consequence. And that very thought starts to make a difference in my day and attitude. I don’t doubt that physically feeling well is important. But does it really rob you of everything you’ve ever wanted??…because I’m not sure. 

I felt different today. I think part of it was I just didn’t feel like starting my path down that rabbit hole that I know so well. I am tired of chalking everything up to how good I’m feeling physically—appearance wise, health wise, you name it. I’m nearly positive that I owe this new epiphany to every act of kindness and sincerity I’ve come to know in recent times. It’s so hard to put into words. But I think we underestimate the human spirit. I mean our bodies all fail us one day, anyway right? I just felt like life gives you a lot to be grateful outside of physical and visible things and sometimes I just become really overwhelmed with appreciation that I’m even here, experiencing it. 

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no matter what, you’re always very lucky
  • today turned out better and sunnier than I was expecting
  • the weather was nice; it isn’t too hot here [yet]
  • I kept having this thought today: no matter what, you’re always very lucky
  • I was limping from the very beginning of the day but I drove my roommate and I to school
  • and I’m glad I could still drive and then I just started to really realize how much of a privilege it is that I can drive and I have a car and all the driving I did felt especially enjoyable, if that makes sense. 
  • Every time I decide to go get coffee from this one cafe, my phone plays Make It Love (I linked it so you can listen to it!)
  • I had coffee and I gave a man a $1. I hope he was able to get the rest of the bus fare he needed.
  • I ended up going to Urgent Care and everyone was very friendly and helpful. The doctor was so cute too; I think I turned bright red when he walked in my room.
  • Turns out that nothing can be seen from the X-ray so I feel dumb. I try really hard not to be a hypochondriac.
  • I also feel so so bad when I can’t remember little details people tell me. I hate when I do that or get details mixed up.
  • My mom sent me a picture from home and it’s so pretty; I miss home.
  • Also I would just like to say that jokes that kind “push the envelope,” (if you will) are so funny. We were in class today and someone starting joking about us taking communion in class and it was the funniest thing. I suppose it’s mostly innocent, but you know how anything religion-related can get pretty hairy pretty fast. 
  • I think that’s it for now. This is all over the place. 
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You don’t pass or fail at being a person, dear.
- Neil Gaiman, The Ocean at the End of the Lane (via larmoyante)
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I got raspberry chocolate coffee and I feel more like a human being 

I’m giving up on giving up on coffee

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I used to be afraid of failing at something that really mattered to me, but now I’m more afraid of succeeding at things that don’t matter.
- Bob Goff, Love Does: Discover a Secretly Incredible Life in an Ordinary World (via larmoyante)
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I want to go home. I want to get more sleep. I want to stop playing catch up with my homework all the time. I want to be not as reliant on coffee as I am. 

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I didn’t like my name until you said it.
- Unknown (via slutstatus)
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Our souls are not hungry for fame, comfort, wealth, or power. Those rewards create almost as many problems as they solve. Our souls are hungry for meaning, for the sense that we have figured out how to live so that our lives matter so the world will be at least be a little bit different for our having passed through it.
- Rabbi Harold Kushner (via thatkindofwoman)
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